Tengo tanta pena, por no verte.
Tanta pena, que…
I wanted to cook.
To cook my sadness,
to turn it into joy.
I decided to meditate,
for even more hours,
to not be at the airport without you,
but with you.
I started running,
again,
to feel my body,
to feel that I was tired
for not seeing you.
Tanta pena,
que…
I remembered to ask you,
to ask you for help.
To bring you here,
with me.
To feel safe when you look at me,
to be naked when you look at me like that,
to feel safe of being naked,
with you.
Tanta pena,
por no verte, que…
I kept writing poems.
Now with drawings!
about natural balance,
the creation of life,
about us.
I started to learn German.
To listen the way you speak.
To see how you see.
To feel your words.
To know more and more,
about you.
Tanta pena,
que…
I said to myself,
“I’m going to have fun”.
It’s time to heal.
To be reborn,
again.
So, I had fun,
I felt gratitud,
I enjoyed the present moment,
accepting…
And here I am, accepting.
Accepting tanta pena,
por no verte…
Tanta pena,
’cause in March I could not believe
It could be months without seeing you.
I still can not believe it!
Tanta pena, que…
I had to stop doing.
I can not do anything else,
I don’t want to.
I need to tell you.
I need you to know
how much I miss you,
my love.
Tanta pena,
por no verte.
’cause I’m alive,
’cause you are breathing.
’cause I need to live you.
’cause I want you to live me.
Tanta pena, that…
only reaches the sense of feeling,
al contenernos.
Con tenernos.
…
I’m lucky for being able to feel this.
Danke meine Traummann
Nataly
June 16th of 2020
“Cuando pude escribir la pena de los últimos meses”
Santiago de Chile.
Turismo Humano 